See, I feel like I need to scream out how I feel. You know, just shake these people and scream at them. Tell them who I am and why I'm like this. But I know that won't get anywhere with these people. For some reason that remains illusive to me, they have made up their minds and formed their own opinions about me. It hurts like crazy, but saying that to them, na, that will only give them fuel to continue. I know, for some reason, they don't want me around. I just wish they understood how much their behavior towards me... It broke me. I feel like if I give up this amazing experience with these trips, I will hit that edge again. I never would have thought that I would require a thicker, tougher skin going on vacation... But then again, I should have known with my personality, it should be worn like a bra. I do want to run, but I can't get the thought out of my head. I have never had this much fun... How do I just give it up? I mean, instead of telling me what I need to change, they scream that I am not welcome I must never show my face again. Again, I must be very dense not to have seen this coming. I just wish I could become someone that people want around. I wish I could be what they want. If they could just tell me... But they won't, because that's not why they are here. They're here as my reminder of how far I've come, how beautiful of a person I am and how much I am worth. This situation is a god-given gift. Telling me that, simply, I got this. My continual reaction or lack there of can and will be the turning point for the people who suffer oppression. There is a way out. I will sit back, stay quiet and watch those who tried to drown me, drown in their own hate.
