Cyber-Bullying Takes A Hit

Lori Drew was convicted of violating MySpace’s terms of service. This is a small step forward here in the fight against cyber bullies. They made it abundantly clear that the law has simply not caught up with this behavior, but cases like that of 49 year old Lori Drew who bullied 13-year-old Megan Meier so badly until the child committed suicide, yes, cases like this are steadily boosting the laws that will (God willing) one day protect children like Megan. It showed a consensus on the general thought of cyber-bullying. That these actions are not feudal, innocent things, but are actually harmful, victim-creating crimes. Many, many young ones have taken their lives over actions like this. Many more have struck back by committing crimes against others. While the majority of this crime's victims have hid in the shadows. Slowly failing out of school, isolating from friends, self-mutilating, drinking, doing drugs, being misdiagnosed with mental illness after mental illness, all the while hiding the truth of their pain. I will use a quote that I heard not long ago. "That which grows in the shadows, but withers in the light of day does not belong on the vine" These people who commit these crimes believe that yes, if they said the same things to your face, they would be in handcuffs. But, if they do this behavior behind closed doors safely at their computers, they will never have to stand behind their words. This case, this old women who chose to target a person almost 1/4 her age, this shows that yes, there will come a day that if you say something online that you don't dare to say to someones face, you WILL face a jury of your peers and no computer servers, no account privacy and even no country lines will protect you. Forever will be gone the public forums and social networking sites that harbor criminals. No longer will we who have been on the receiving end of this abuse stay quiet. The time for change has come. We know who you are. We know your M.O. and by God, you will be brought to Justice!

feu⋅dal

adjective

of, pertaining to, or like the feudal system, or its political, military, social, and economic structure.

My Own Words

See, I feel like I need to scream out how I feel. You know, just shake these people and scream at them. Tell them who I am and why I'm like this. But I know that won't get anywhere with these people. For some reason that remains illusive to me, they have made up their minds and formed their own opinions about me. It hurts like crazy, but saying that to them, na, that will only give them fuel to continue. I know, for some reason, they don't want me around. I just wish they understood how much their behavior towards me... It broke me. I feel like if I give up this amazing experience with these trips, I will hit that edge again. I never would have thought that I would require a thicker, tougher skin going on vacation... But then again, I should have known with my personality, it should be worn like a bra. I do want to run, but I can't get the thought out of my head. I have never had this much fun... How do I just give it up? I mean, instead of telling me what I need to change, they scream that I am not welcome I must never show my face again. Again, I must be very dense not to have seen this coming. I just wish I could become someone that people want around. I wish I could be what they want. If they could just tell me... But they won't, because that's not why they are here. They're here as my reminder of how far I've come, how beautiful of a person I am and how much I am worth. This situation is a god-given gift. Telling me that, simply, I got this. My continual reaction or lack there of can and will be the turning point for the people who suffer oppression. There is a way out. I will sit back, stay quiet and watch those who tried to drown me, drown in their own hate.

I Am Broken

This is how I feel. I can't explain it, I just live it. I've felt this way for awhile. Sometimes I felt like I should try to change this or make it go away. Sometimes I would think that this defined me, that the feeling was me. I've walked for years, placing this feeling in a box, thinking I had "control" over it. I don't know exactly when I realized that I had been feeling this, but when I did, I shut it away. Shame. Shame can be very useful when you want to hide. I started to connect with people and when it started to surface... Fear of letting it show. It's kind of funny how this feeling can easily breed new feelings. As I realized more and more how this feeling was consuming me, I started the creation of a mask. A mask I was confident would cover this feeling for good, leaving me able to live a "normal" life. When I started wearing the mask, I found it very easy to be with people. People took to the mask, believing it was really me. I did this for a long time and got very good at it. You know, as I look back, I can see how many good people I hurt. I did not realize that when I chose to put on the mask, I gave myself freely to sin. As I continued to wear the mask, unknown to me, the feeling grew. Eventually, after several years, the mask ceased to cover the feeling. I didn't know God. More and more of the close friends I had made noticed. They didn't know the feeling, but they knew now that I had been wearing a mask all along and one of them let me know the mask wasn't really a mask, but a lie. I don't think I can place or describe how I felt when I was exposed. The life I had made while wearing the mask started to fall apart. In a desperate attempt to salvage some part of my life, I called out to God. I knew I wasn't really sincere when I accepted him, but the people around me seemed to buy it, so I formed a new mask. (Just as a side note, never play around with God!) That's exactly what I was doing. I walked through the next 6-8 months thinking I was good. Letting people think I had changed, that I was walking for and with God. The feeling like it always did, though, grew even more! Even the mask of "christian" could no longer hide it. This time, I gave up. I retreated and isolated. I learned how to cope, all the while allowing my heart to further erode. People gave up on me, but worse, I gave up on myself. I died. The feeling now live for me. Something I didn't know, though, is that when I accepted God, whether or not I was sincere, I had given him permission to take over a fix me.

I the dark, I sat... a gun to my head.

"I am here. I have come in answer to your many unsaid prayers." A strange voice, a strange life. He had finally come for me. I was finally at the right place for him to rescue me. "I am your father. Come to me." Over the next few months, I sat in terrible pain as God exposed all the crap in my heart and released me from it.

One day... Today... I know the feeling...

I am broken.